After the Divorce: How to Cope When Your Ex Starts Dating Someone New

divorce process Maybe you were glad to be free from your ex once the divorce process was over and the divorce papers were signed. Maybe you thought “good riddance” and figured you were over it, and you’d never think about them again.

And then you found out they were dating someone new and your whole world came crashing down. You don’t know what to do or how to feel. Well, here are three tips that should help you process those confusing emotions.

  1. Expect to feel jealous
    If you feel that green monster rearing its ugly head, you might be pretty surprised. Why would you feel jealous over someone you don’t even want in your life? Actually, it’s a totally normal reaction. After all, this was your partner. Even now that you’re apart you may feel like you still have some sort of claim over them. Feeling envious or betrayed is pretty common.Or, your jealousy may stem from the fact that your ex has something that you don’t have. You might have thought that you would be the first to move on and find someone new. To see your ex happy and loved may leave you feeling a bit jealous or even empty.

  3. Remember why you got divorced
    You didn’t go through that entire divorce process over a minor fight or a nasty argument. Chances are you probably had some pretty valid reasons for going your separate ways. Consider all of the positive ways in which your life has changed since your divorce. Remember all those negative emotions you experienced while you were married to this person. How do your current feelings compare?

  5. Accept it and move on
    You can’t control what your ex does or who they see. What you can control is how you live your own life. You may have heard the saying, “The best revenge is living well.” It’s true. Don’t show your jealousy; rather, focus on how you can better yourself and live the life you’ve always dreamed of.

Keep in mind that people generally wait an average of three to four years after a divorce before they remarry (if they remarry at all). It is possible that the person your ex is dating now won't be around for long. But again, that’s really none of your concern. Instead, you should cope by living your life in the best way you know how.

If you are still married, but separated, and you are looking for divorce lawyers in San Francisco, contact Rubin and Levavi, P.C. to get the divorce process started.